Category Archives: life

Passenger

The current picks up speed

As it heads downhill

Closer to the sound

Of a waterfall

Around the bend

Where everything goes over

Ready or not.

Head to shore

Before it’s too late!

Swept away with the wild flood.

Or safely carried in His boat.

Through the rocks and rapids.

The bank is steep and hard to see

But the river is lonely and long.

What’s around the bend ?

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Life in hospital mode

Grace has been in the hospital since Thursday. Today she’s on a little less breathing support. She’s seemed extra tired this time and it scares me . I don’t think she’s dying , yet, but I know one day I’ll have to face that happening, and that is not something I want to think about. I felt sad when she didn’t react to me today when I was talking to her and holding her hand. No gripping my finger . She even turned her head away from me, which made me think , at least she moved . Then she gave me a weak “Mmm-mmm”. Not the “Mmaaa” that she sometimes “says” but it was better than nothing. She’s tired and uncomfortable. She cries a little when they change her diaper, like something hurts when they move her . I feel so bad for her.

I just want to get her well so we can plan her 18th birthday celebration at the end of this month.

They have a small cafe/ food court thing here. It’s very expensive if you don’t order carefully. Read the menu or pay! I did pretty well for breakfast $4.06 , no drink . The view is nice from the cafe.

This is a very nice hospital and we are blessed and thankful to live close to it . I switched out with my husband last night and went home where I got a great nights sleep. Then I woke up and after two yummy cups of coffee, I had a very busy day cleaning and getting things set up at home so they can have a good week without me being home. Finally finished putting Christmas decorations away. Got groceries. Now I’ll be here for probably the next three nights . I may get a break if someone else can come stay with Grace. Historically, Grace has not recovered very quickly from pneumonia. I don’t expect it to be a short stay. But I hope I’m wrong!

My hard bed . Not too terrible , but not great.

Counting My Blessings

Rather than tell you all the things that have gone wrong this month, big things that leave me wondering, but also trusting and waiting to see how God is going to intervene this time, I’ve decided I need to share some good things.

1)Running this race gave me a much needed mental boost. I guess I never blogged about it! Brazos Bend 100 was an almost 28 mile long trail marathon complete with people in costumes and distances from a half marathon to 100 miles.  Lots of mud, some sprinkles, huge puddles , and puddles is not really strong enough of a word to describe the mini-lakes on the trail,  a major bonk , and I had to leave early, but I enjoyed my time with other runners/friends in the park. I am still having some leg issues from the mud, but I’d say it was worth it.

2)I posted an anxious post about not having money for Christmas.  You can read it here. Having Joyful Holidays on a tight Budget Well, that is still kinda true, but there are plenty of gifts under the tree! Yes, I did resort to charging some of them on a credit card, but not all of them. The unexpected blessing was that my kids got in the Christmas spirit and bought each other gifts! They came up with this idea on their own. I really underestimated them. I think I mentioned that God provided my 15 year old with a job, well he decided to let his 13 year old brother go to work with him so he could buy gifts. He was willing to split the loot! But thankfully, the very generous man that they are working for paid them both. AND gave them a Christmas bonus to boot! This man is a Christian pastor and I am so thankful God brought them together. My 20 year old also bought some gifts. And my oldest called me from the store where he was shopping, not sure what he is up to. Last year my next-to-oldest son really came through with the big surprise, Playstation 4s for both my youngest sons! So I don’t know if he plans to shell out big bucks this year or take the year off, no word from him. He is the silent type! Each and all of my children are a huge blessing to me .

3)Another good thing, kinda , is that even though my daughter got pretty sick this month, we did not have to spend any time in the hospital. That made a huge difference in how much stress her illness caused since I was able to stay home and take care of her instead of being gone and leaving the rest of the family to take care of themselves while they were all sick with the same thing.  I am very thankful to have the equipment here that she needed, namely oxygen and suctioning.  And I’m thankful that I know how to  use and that I was not sick when she was! I got the virus but I got over pretty quickly.

4)Another somewhat sideways blessing is that even though we ended up having to spend it on plumbing repairs, we were blessed that my husband found some money he had forgotten he had put aside.  He just suddenly one day decided to clean his side of the closet and found it up there. Of course it was a little, or a big, letdown to have to give it all to the plumber, but I am thankful it popped up at the right time. God provides in unusual ways sometimes!

5)Lastly, I’m excited because I had no gift ideas and then they started coming to me in waves of inspiration! I can’t wait to see if they like them. A couple of things have already been given because they were needed, like rubber boots for my son. He loves them. And a robe for my husband because he accidentally saw it. He loves it.  One gift that I hope is well received is matching t-shirts for the whole family. If they will wear them, I’ll share a photo. If not, I may be reselling them! And I’m really excited to give my mom her Bluetooth speaker. She loves gadgets like that, and music.

So , there, you see, it only seems like this month has been terrible. Broken plumbing, illnesses and broken down vehicles , etc, happen to everyone. I can’t let myself be overcome with discouragement at life’s trials.  I will take the bad with the good.  My cozy country home is decorated with a lovely tree and plenty of lights.  I ordered 6 dozen tamales  and we will feast on Christmas Day and celebrate the birth of Christ and the joy and salvation that  only He could bring into the world. The stockings will be full of candy and the gifts will be given with love . My mom and sister and her daughter will be coming over and it will be a good day. I will be thankful for my blessings!

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Longreads on Wordpress

Today I read some crap on Longreads that I wanted to comment on, but there was no place to do it. So I thought I’d do it here. Dear author of Blowin’ Up the 90s. Your article is gibberish. Your sarcastically-hip style is annoying. Your points are pointless. I feel sad for you that your experience of life is so awful. Yes, the 80s were way better than the 90s but life has gone basically downhill since the Industrial revolution , with a few good periods. Progress is relative. The way you deconstructed every little thing was simply depressing. I know that was the point of the article, but why? Find something better to do with your words. Use them to uplift, encourage, motivate, inspire. Pointing out the bad in people helps how? Maybe I’m just too old to understand. I hope you find Jesus.

God Really Loves Us!

This week has been tough. The hits just kept coming. Nothing really unusual or serious compared to what some people suffer and I remind myself constantly that it could be worse! I trust God  and I know God is working on things behind the scenes, but we all know that doesn’t take away the stress and emotions completely . We are weak and human. But how can we be celebrating Thanksgiving one day and then , ugh, here comes real life again? Why do these trials happen at Christmas time?

But I am thankful that I am a believer in Jesus and in the Word of God, the Bible, because that book is full of truth that is so comforting in time of need. Reading how God cared for and guided and , yes, punished, his people over the years lets me know that God really loves his children! He wants us to be HIS children only, not shared custody with other gods, also known as idols.

I want to share the following passage because it really hit home with me. Look how God loves us!  Thank you LORD for your love and kindness and mercy to your people.

Zechariah 8:1 Again the word of the LORD of Hosts came to me, saying: This is what the LORD of Hosts says: “I am jealous for Zion with great zeal; I am jealous for her with great fervor.” This is what the LORD says: “I will return to Zion and dwell in Jerusalem. Then Jerusalem will be called the City of Truth, and the mountain of the LORD of Hosts will be called the Holy Mountain.” This is what the LORD of Hosts says: “Old men and old women will again sit along the streets of Jerusalem, each with a staff in hand because of great age. And the streets of the city will be filled with boys and girls playing there.” This is what the LORD of Hosts says: “If it is marvelous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in those days, should it also be marvelous in My eyes?” declares the LORD of Hosts. This is what the LORD of Hosts says: “I will save My people from the land of the east and the land of the west. I will bring them back to live in Jerusalem, where they will be My people, and I will be their faithful and righteous God.”

Do you see the good plans God has for the people who love him? The world will not always be like this. These verses also made a big impact on me.

Isaiah 58 “Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
    Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
    and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.
For day after day they seek me out;
    they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
    and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
    and seem eager for God to come near them.
‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
    ‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
    and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
    and exploit all your workers.
Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
    and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
    and expect your voice to be heard on high.
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
    only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
    and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
    a day acceptable to the Lord?

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
    with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
    and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
    and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
    Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

13 “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
    and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
    and the Lord’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
    and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the Lord,
    and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
    and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

 

What is God telling us between these two passages? Our motives and our heart condition are what counts with him! Not religious rituals. Obedience to practices such as fasting should be out of love for him, not for attention or bragging rights.  As I tell my kids, God’s rules are for our protection. He is not capricious. He knows our weaknesses.

Anyway, I hope you all had a good week. I might write another post after this one about the high point of my week. God bless you all!

 

Being 12 again: Or the reality of Mid-life

The brain fog lifted briefly this morning and I realized that what I am going through right now is exactly what every one of us, male and female, struggled through at around age 12, give or take a year or two. Think back and recall the way your body suddenly took on a mind of it’s own and all you could do is hang on for the ride. One day your clothes fit and the next they were too tight or maybe too short. If you were truly unfortunate you may have become quite chubby even though you felt like you were starving to death. Another day you woke up with zits all over your face and greasy hair. Then you started having emotional mood swings from hell that made you hate your beloved parents and siblings and also cry over the dumbest things. You may have developed a crush on someone new or stopped being friends with a long time friend, but relationships in general became difficult because you lost your ability to communicate your thoughts and feelings easily. No one understood you at all! You wanted to sleep all day and eat everything in the house and got mad when someone said you couldn’t. Life seemed hopeless one minute and exciting the next! Thankfully your friends were going through the same hormone journey with you and you consoled each other. You hated on the kids who seemed to not have any troubles, not realizing that they really did. You helped each other get through the really dark days.  What a wild roller-coaster ride it was and is.  All thanks to our good old changing hormones. Can’t wait to get control of my body again some day. But for now I will try to sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Only a few short years ago I could wear that dress! 

Celebrating our Addictions

Scroll down any social media feed and you will see plenty of memes glorifying various addictions with humorous, creative graphics and witty sayings. These can be anything from alcohol, food, weight loss, tacos, running, crossfit, cycling, climbing, shopping, coffee, shoes, to iPhones and other weird things. Sometimes the posts don’t actually call it an addiction, such as memes related to anger, political outrage, judging others, or social media itself, but we all know people who are hooked on those and post about it daily.

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Why is this okay? Why do we click LIKE or HAHA on these posts to give approval to what we know is sometimes a very unhealthy relationship or even unwanted slavery to these things? I do it, too! I laugh and then I think , well that’s actually not that funny, is it? So do we just laugh because otherwise we’d cry? I think it is because most of us are in the same boat and if we admit to it , we might want out of the boat and then we might be all alone and have no friends. So we play along and encourage the things that make us miserable or at the very least do not lead to joy and contentment and peace. Those things come from another place, a person, the Lord, Jesus Christ. But sadly posts about Jesus do not get the same approval, do they? I suppose it is the company one keeps. And I have over 800 ‘friends’ on the F-book that I may have something in common with, but not the main thing. I think most of my Christian friends are still following my posts, but many have either unfollowed or snoozed me because they don’t want to read Bible verses  or logical political posts. They’d rather keep their heads in the clouds and focus on wine, tacos, and running. It’s okay. I will be praying for them and for myself to fight these non-Jesus substitutions, aka idols,  for real peace and joy. And let me just add that I know that most of these things can be enjoyed in moderation in a healthy way and not be an addiction. We know if we’ve become dependent or not.
Romans 1:32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things are worthy of death, they not only continue to do these things, but also approve of those who practice them. ~ This verse refers to some pretty bad sins, but it came to mind as to how people tend to encourage others in the same behaviors they are slaves to.

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