Monthly Archives: March 2018

Angels Among Us

You may have heard someone recount a time when a loved one was dying and the dying person spoke of an angel being in the room , ready to take them home. I find these stories very comforting. Some non-dying people seem able to see these spiritual beings as well. The Bible gives us a little information about Angels, or heavenly messengers, but not a lot . The reverend Billy Graham wrote a book about them , but I haven’t read it. https://www.amazon.com/Angels-Billy-Graham/dp/0849938716

I just like knowing that God protects his own and cares for them and sometimes He does it using angels. I often pray that He will protect my husband and children from danger and Satan and I believe that he will and does! He also sent them to the disciples .

But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the prison doors and brought them out, and said, – Acts 5:19

Angels also ministered to Jesus on earth and now he rules over them in heaven .

Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him. – Matthew 4:11

However we are not to pray to them or worship them.

Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, – Colossians 2:18

God alone deserves our prayers and worship , through his son Jesus Christ .

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17

In the Old Testament, the words “the angel of the LORD ” referred to Jesus before he was given a human body . Jesus was at work among people even then.

Thank you , Lord for your loving care . Amen

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The Moody Moon

I am a firm believer in the power of the moon over people’s moods. Why? Because I am a people watcher. It’s so obvious.  The moon will be full March 31, in 4 days.  The effect is already starting. The bigger it gets, the more crazy and emotional posts you will see on social media. People get anxious and chatty and impulsive.

Sure , scientists disagree and point to very sketchy research disproving that idea, but ask anyone with children, or who works in an emergency center or with special needs kids, the moon has an effect on behavior and emotions. You will see more seizures, more depressed people, more hyperactivity, more shootings, more accidents, more drinking.

The same thing happens when the moon gets smaller and smaller and there is ‘no moon’. People are in a bad way. But the new moon arrives and they feel relief!

How about you ? Feeling extra antsy? More emotional? A little more nervous? Angry? Irritable? Check the calendar. It’s probably either almost a full moon or almost a new moon. Try it!

 

It’s been three weeks since I’ve gone for a run

and I haven’t killed myself or killed anyone, gotten a divorce, gained 100 pounds, or gone into a catatonic depression.  I did get depressed , though, and I had to unfollow my Facebook running groups and pages to make it less terrible. I did get so unhappy that I was barely interacting with my family and that wasn’t good. But, thank the good Lord who loves and keeps me from total self-destruction, I was able to get past the depression.

It helped that I was able to start walking again.  Sitting on my ass all day is so hard for me. My body was getting sore from doing nothing ! I only wore the boot for two days and never used the crutches. I did wear compression socks and an elastic brace on my ankle every day up until a couple of days ago.

The swelling finally went down in my ankle but the weird feeling in my shin/tibia area is not gone. I feel like I am getting some scar tissue around the ankle so I started working on that and that really HURTS! The best thing is have been able to go to the gym again. The elliptical provides me with a pretty good challenge as my balance is shaky if I don’t hold on to the handles. I assume that means I have weak core strength.  Today I did 30 minutes without holding on and picked up my pace a little, so I am improving quickly! I am not doing it every day because I don’t want to risk some new injury.

My back has been super stiff and I have a sciatica type pain that shoots down the front of my quad when I drive or sit on a soft chair. But I am feeling hopeful. My plan is to try to run at the 4 week mark and see how it feels. But I know it might be too soon, so I’m not getting my hopes up .

The weirdest thing is that I really have lost that extreme need to run every day that I had before. My brain has really adjusted quickly. I think having the ability to at least go for short ( 30 minutes) walks and do the elliptical was a big help. What I really miss is the race community. That is the only time I get to hang out with friends and go to the trails with them. There’s a race this weekend that I can’t run and I decided not to even try to walk it because it would be a waste of my limited race budget.  I decided not to volunteer either because I want to spend the weekend with my family and I’ll hopefully be back racing again soon enough and be missing family time.

The weather has been gorgeous and I did get to take a hike with my kids one day last week during their Spring Break. Only for one hour, but it was worth it! I love Buescher State Park’s trails even if they are short and are an out and back trail for now until they are repaired.

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I have also started a new diet, way of eating, to try to keep the weight off and actually to lose 5-10 pounds. It’s a super popular idea that I didn’t know about until recently, intermittent fasting. I really like it and I feel good doing it. Basically you restrict your eating of ANY food or drinks with any calories in them to a certain time window. Most common seems to be 16:8 , which means all eating is done within those 8 hours. Other people stretch the non-eating period, or fast, for longer times. I’m amazed at how easy it has been to do this. Basically I skip breakfast completely and then eat lunch at noon , dinner at 5 or 6 and I don’t eat anything after that. I will have coffee around 8:00 but no sugar or creamer is allowed. I’m also trying to break my diet soda habit, but it’s so hard. Also breaking the sugar habit, again. I’ve been doing very well for almost two weeks and lost a few pounds already.

Focusing on the Intermittent Fasting and doing the elliptical has given me new goals to keep my mind off my foot and leg pain and healing time.  But I’ve also had some realizations during this period. A big one has been realizing just how ‘deep off in it’ I was with running. Now that I’m not doing it, I see how addicted I was to the endorphins, the constant thinking about running, the constant race planning and training planning and weekend run planning. It consumed my mind, but it also stressed me out , a lot. I had no time to think of much else. Now I am spending more time doing other things and thinking about other things, not just my diet, but homeschooling, getting out of debt, house cleaning and organizing, Bible study and reading, my future and just normal daily activities. I have time to do things! I also discovered Instagram and have been taking more pictures for that , but I’m already getting bored with it. Haha!

My life and thoughts had become unbalanced, which is not unusual for me. I like to push myself hard and challenge myself.  But it is a relief to be getting out of that cycle of stress and overdoing it. I can actually say and mean it, this recovery period is a good thing.

A boot and crutches

March 3, 2018

Yesterday I was on my feet all day running errands , buying groceries and doing chores. When I woke up my leg was aching deep inside. I stayed in bed awhile while I consulted Dr. Google . I hope I’m wrong , but it really does sound like I have a tibial stress fracture. I did everything I shouldn’t do . I ignored increasing lower leg and ankle pain, increased my mileage too quickly on nothing but uneven , hilly roads and took no rest days. I guess I deserve what I got.

Hubby and I drove to town to Goodwill where we were thankful to the generous people who donate their stuff rather than selling it on eBay . We found a good boot in my size and a set of crutches that will work . I put it on and tried walking on it when we went next to Walmart. It is awkward! But not too bad. I know I should get an actual doctor to diagnose me and I probably will, no promises. I’m not a fan of doctors because they usually just take my money and offer no new information. I thoroughly research my ailments in advance to save money . For years we had no health insurance so I’m pretty good at self treatment. Lol!

Now I need to read up on the right usage of the boot . Do you wear it all the time or only when walking ? I just want to take a nap . The day started off sunny , but it’s gray again .

By the way I was registered for the Woodlands marathon today. Feeling pretty bummed about that wasted money . I never should have signed up. I was still injured from my last race . Runner brain . Runner logic . Race addiction. Call it what you want. Camille Herron won the race! She’s awesome.

Almost out of battery so I’ll say goodbye for now.

100 miles to zero. Snowdrop Ultra 55 hour to injured list.

March 1, 2018

Yesterday I made a big and difficult decision. After 1,033 days of running every single day, aka a run streak, I knew I had to stop. I knew this was coming because I’ve been nursing an injury for over a week that was making running difficult and creating more pain after the run. Thanks to the wonder of the internet I was able to read some other injured runner’s blogs and articles which helped me realize that I, too , would survive this unwanted rest period. It was a bit scary though, reading how depressed some people get when they get injured. I was afraid that would happen to me.

To put it mildly, change does not come easily me and I resist with all my strength.  I had good friends telling me it was time to take some rest and recovery days but I didn’t want to hear it.  Losing my streak when I was so close to hitting the 3 year mark was really hard.  And my daily routine and identity were totally involved in my running goals and processes. What would I do with my life  if I can’t get up , stretch, and run every day??  I will gain 500 pounds if I don’t run!  Fear and grief overwhelmed my mind.  I could think of nothing else.  Thanks to the actual physical pain , though,  I went through all the Grief stages very quickly. I denied (I can still run one mile a day, it’s getting better!) , I got angry ( ask my husband) , I bargained (please God!) , I got really depressed ( life sucks and always will) , and now I am in acceptance (shit happens!). It actually took a couple of weeks of denial before I hit the angry stage. I also took the intermediate step of telling my Facebook friends what was going on and asking for prayers. That was a relief to admit that things were going badly. Not sure why but I don’t like publicly admitting my weaknesses. Instead I will just whine and complain to my closest friend.

The unexpected thing is that within hours of making the tearful decision (on the phone with my husband) to end the streak, I was feeling quite good about it.  My husband went through the same process after he had to end his streak due to severe knee pain. At first he was devastated, then he said he felt a sense of freedom from the streak requirement of running at least one mile per day. As much as I loved streaking, there were some days it was inconvenient or very painful. I had a few times when I was literally grunting in pain for one mile, especially after running an ultramarathon. I also had some days when I was sick or really didn’t feel like running.  Once I ran in an airport which was kinda fun, but also not fun. And then I started having this nagging Achilles pain and the first few minutes of the run was painful.

What does this have to do with 100 miles?

Well,  woohoo ! I ran 100 miles from December 30-31, 2017 at the Snowdrop Ultra 55 hour race in Missouri City, Texas. I still have pain on the top of my right foot from that 31 hours of running on a part dirt, part concrete 3/4 mile loop.  Those miles didn’t help my already inflamed Achilles tendons. I am sure this helped me sustain the current acute ankle injury that forced me to take a break from running. Was it worth it? YES! I am super proud of that accomplishment and have great memories from the experience.

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This BEA-U-Tiful buckle was worth everything it cost me. I would like to run another 100 miler when I can train properly. I took this one very easy and just had fun. I spent 3 hours resting in my tent during the wee hours, which I would probably not do again as it really wasn’t needed.  My training leading up to it was not the best so I had low expectations. I ran a very hot 50 miler in October and a fast marathon at the beginning of December  that I had to recover from.  Besides that I really didn’t do very  many long runs.  I did manage to PR all my ultra distances in this race .  My fastest 50k and 50 miler and 100k . You have 55 hours to finish 100 or as many miles as you want, so it’s a good race for slow people. http://www.snowdropfoundation.org

IMG_0790When I look into the future, I am not sure what I see as far as running. When I’m on Facebook, I see all my friends’ running related posts, race photos and plans and it’s hard to imagine not doing that anymore, so I assume I will go back to it once I heal and rehab my ankle however long it takes. But part of me wonders if I am done with that world. Only time will tell. I’ve been running almost daily since April 2011. Maybe God has something new for me to do.

I am trusting God with my past, present and future. I am not afraid.